


The Ones Who Understand

by kythen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Memories of the Past, POV Second Person, We're Not Killing People We're Killing Titans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 08:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kythen/pseuds/kythen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is something not quite right with him, they whisper behind your back, damning eyes fixed on you.</p><p>No, you think, it's not me. It's all of you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ones Who Understand

They say you must be crazy, backing away from you and the blood on your hands. There was a knife too, but you couldn't get it out from when you embedded it too deeply in that man's throat.

It's ok, you don't need it now. You can always get another when the situation calls for it anyway.

You take a step forward, reaching out a hand for the huddled group of children before you with a half-smile, telling them it's all ok. The monsters are gone; you've gone and killed them off for them. A single scarlet drop detaches itself from the splash of red wrapped around your thin wrist and falls onto the ground between you and them. You watch, half in fascination, half in another emotion you can't identify, and the door bursts open.

There are hands on you, hooking through your armpits and hoisting you into the air, careful to stay as far away from your hands as possible. Your vision goes sideways as you are forcibly removed from the room and the last thing you see before you pass through the doorway is the sight of children crying, your classmates crowding around the other adult who had come into the room.

They don't understand, you wonder as you are transferred into the hands of another adult, this time a man kitted out in the dark blue of a police uniform, something frightening – or frightened, rather – flashing in the depths in his eyes as he looks at you. He doesn't understand either, you realise, which is surprising because you thought the adults would have understood it even if the other children didn't.

You are nine years old when they tear you away from your parents and have you locked away in an institution which is really just another word for prison.

You are nine years old when you look up into the dead eyes of a girl, huddled up in a collapsed world of her own, barely held together by the red wool around her neck, and hear the frantic words of a small boy, speaking of an imaginary past long gone, warning everyone that _they_ will be back.

So they have been hiding in here all along, the ones who understand, the ones who are the same as you. You pull them together, all three of your bodies pressed together in a mockery of a group huddle and the words that come out of your mouth are, "We are the ones who remember. And we will be the ones to exterminate the titans."

\---

It is an entirely new world and everyone plays by different rules now. Gone are the walls that separate the humans from titans in more ways than one. The titans have evolved, blending in with humans seamlessly in this new world. But there are still reports every now and then of missing persons and found body parts decorated in teeth marks.

It's them, the titans. They are getting smarter, evading the watchful eye of the law and hiding amongst the very kind that they call their prey.

And so, you have to play by the rules of this world as well.

There has to be nobody around when you drag a petite blond woman down the dark of an alleyway and slit the back of her neck, watching the life drain from her light eyes. You raise your arm to stab her again right in the chest, adrenaline coursing through your veins like a shoot-me-up drug, and Mikasa grabs hold of your wrist, giving you a firm shake of the head when you make to wrench your arm out of her grip.

"Armin says not to leave too much evidence." she says quietly, her voice muffled under the thick material of her scarf.

Your facial muscles slacken – you didn't realise how hard you were gritting your teeth – and you reel yourself back into control, away from the exhilaration of slaying a titan. It has been so long since the last one, lengthy limbs sprawled out on the kindergarten floor and nails digging into a wall decorated with cutesy animals that stared down at him blandly. When the new assistant teacher had walked in through the door, you had just _known_ deep within you that that was a titan in human skin. An impostor. After that, it had been easy enough to run to the kitchen block and grab a knife, the longest and sharpest because you needed to cut deep into his nape to truly slay him. The rest was history that landed you where you are now, where you belong with Mikasa and Armin who are the only ones who understand. You don't regret it one bit.

"You're right, Mikasa." you tell her, the girl who has been like a sister to you for centuries. Swiftly, you wipe down the knife you used to slay this titan; you miss the twin blades you used as a soldier, deadly sharp and absolutely beautiful for carving deep into the weak point of a titan.

Mikasa nods at your agreement, stoic as usual, and tucks her phone back into her pocket. You can hear the whine of a car engine as you and Mikasa heave the dead titan in your arms, you at her head and Mikasa at her feet. Together you both back into the alley as a car reverses slowly into the narrow space. There is a head of blond hair sticking out of the window, looking back at the both of you and the titan carcass as he brings the car to a stop. Neither of you waste any time in stowing the titan in the back of the car, making sure not to get blood on the inside of the boot – Armin would kill you if you did – as you wrap the carcass in a plastic sheet prepared in the boot. Once done, you throw yourself into the passenger seat beside Armin as Mikasa slams the cover down on the boot.

There is a taut, stressed look to Armin's face and you put a hand on his shoulder, meant to be a reassuring touch, but with Armin on edge it yields a violent reaction instead as your best friend jerks spasmodically.

"Hey." you withdraw your hand immediately, slightly offended. "What's up with you?"

The front of Armin's hair sticks to his forehead, a sheen of sweat the adhesive, and he cracks a nervous smile at you that has not an ounce of heart in it. "Nothing. I mean, this is our first—" he falters, as if the words are stuck in his throat, and then pushes on doggedly, "kill."

"It's the second for me." you point out logically, the film reel of the incident popping into place in the back of your eyes and playing the scene in your head. You smile thinly. "And it won't be my last."

Armin laughs too fast, high-pitched and breaking in places. "You're right. This is our first time working together and it won't be our last. We've got you around after all."

"And you too." you remind him. "And Mikasa." you add as she slides into the backseat, face impassive as she glances at you then at Armin.

"Together, we'll cleanse this world of the titans."

\---

A gunshot rings out in the air and you roar as Mikasa goes down right before you, the ends of her red scarf fluttering out to the sky as she descends. You scream your rage at the line of people before you, all holding guns trained on you and Armin, Mikasa forgotten now that she lies crumpled on the ground with a bullet buried deep in her chest. Your jaws part and you are powerful, you are in grief as you make a sound that's too twisted to be human.

Oh, you remember, but you weren't human in the first place. You're one of _them_ whom you've sworn to kill. The irony.

The man you are holding thrashes in your grip wildly and you push the knife deeper into his nape, feeling a sense of satisfaction as blood wells from a line on his skin. He freezes and your lips lift in a lopsided smile. There's your proof.

"Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlelt!" shouts the policeman at the centre of the formation. "You are all under arrest for the murder of Annie Leonhardt. Drop the knife and surrender."

They didn't understand. They didn't understand that you and Armin and Mikasa were trying to protect them from the titans. You were saving humanity when no one even knew about the threat that they faced. You wanted to weep tears of frustration, a hot prickly feeling gathering at the corners of your eyes. You wanted stamp your feet onto the ground like a child throwing a tantrum. _They didn't understand._

Armin watches you calmly from the side, both hands going up in the air after he saw Mikasa go down and there is not a trace of fear on his youthful face. You wonder if he has a plan because it is Armin and Armin always has a plan. At your feet, you hear a barely audible groan and you see a silver of sloe black glint in Mikasa's eyes. She's fighting back the pain even as her entire front is slowly stained red and you feel a surge of relief wash over you. They must have missed a vital area. You look back at Armin and somehow you know that he knows that Mikasa is still conscious, still in the game. He inclines his head, giving the smallest of nods and you know that he has it. He's thought of something to get you all out. All you have to do is put your trust in him.

A heartbeat later, Armin is on his knees and his arms are raised high in the air. "I surrender! They forced me into this, sir. I never asked for any of this."

The head policeman looks confused for a moment before he schools his face back into its hardened countenance. "Reports say that you are a willing participant in your little circle of friends. Lying won't lessen your sentence, Arlelt."

Armin shakes his head frantically, tears welling up in those baby blue eyes of his. When he sneaks a look at you, it is one of fear and he visibly cringes right after that. Admiration leaves you breathless; you never knew Armin had it in him.

"No, sir. I swear, sir." Armin holds his arms out, offering his wrists to the ring of policemen, a nervous smile plastered onto his face. "Please just take me away from them."

To complement Armin's magnificent acting, you school your features into one of slack shock and try to look betrayed. When you dare to take step in his direction, dozens of guns click in warning, fingers at the trigger and ready. But with the titan in your custody, they wouldn't dare to shoot for fear of hitting him.

A short distance away from you, you can see the head policeman muttering something into the ear of the policeman beside him, someone younger and noticeably more inexperienced who is pale-faced as he drops his gun to the side. He looks straight up at Armin with uncertainty in his eyes as he takes a hesitant step forward then another, a pair of handcuffs ready in his hands. All eyes are on him now as he shuffles slowly towards Armin and you risk another glance down at Mikasa, lying motionless on the floor. The lines of her body are tense and you recognise that she's ready for whatever happens next, just as you should be. The policeman stops before Armin, reaching out to lock the handcuffs in place around his offered wrists.

Everything else after that happens in an instance.

He never saw it coming. The false expression slipped off Armin's face in a blink of the eye and he slammed a fist into the side of his would be arrester's head, a move learnt from Mikasa that was a sure way to keep the target disorientated for a while. The guns turned on Armin but it was too late. Mirroring Eren's position with the titan, Armin had the unfortunate policeman held in a headlock and the gun that had been in his holster now held to his head.

In that moment when all attention was on Armin, Mikasa was up on her feet in a flash, making a dash for the low wall that served as a dead end for the alley they were in. Despite the trail of blood she left, she managed to heave herself up and over before anyone amongst the police force had gathered enough wit to shoot. As she disappeared over the brick wall, a single shot glanced off the top of the wall half-heartedly as if to show that the shooter at least tried. It was pathetic.

You would laugh if it wasn't your own life and Armin's at stake here. While the both of you were protected by the hostages you both held at the moment, it was only a matter of time before the police figured out a way to break the deadlock or if reinforcements came. You only hope that Mikasa managed to get away so that if anything happened to the both of you, there would at least be one of you still out there, hunting the titans.

"You monsters." The head policeman snarls, knuckles white around the grip of his gun. "I was there when you killed Bertholdt Hoover, Yeager. Nine years old and your first man stabbed beyond recognition. We know about him and about Annie Leonhardt but who knows how many other innocent people you monsters have slaughtered."

He's stalling, you recognise. The only reason why one of them would go on such a tirade was to distract you, make you forget the situation you were in. You won't listen – even if everything he had said was true – and you won't let yourself get baited by somebody who doesn't understand. He was right though. There were others, all slain in the quiet places of this town with a quick knife to the back of the neck and carcass disposed of in the sea you and Armin had long talked about going to. You watched the bodies sink into the water, frozen stricken faces disappearing under the blackness and blood mixing in with the salt water. The next day, you would see the same faces in the newspaper under the missing persons section, greyscale visages staring out at you accusingly. Not that you needed to feel guilt anyway. They were titans, meant to be slain before they went after more of humanity.

The faint blaring of police sirens reaches your ears, still a distance from your standoff with the police but close enough for concern. You have this end this somehow or risk getting Armin and yourself captured by the police. With all the slain titans under your belt, there would be no returning after getting sent to prison and then Mikasa would be all alone in her hunt for the titans. You can't let that happen to her.

You hear the low hum of an engine in motion coming closer and you shoot a look at Armin, who meets your eyes with eyes that are filled with desperation. If he has a plan, it probably wouldn't work with all the odds against the both of you. When you look back to the front, the head policeman has a smug look on his face and complacency in every line of his body. Defiantly, you bare your teeth at him and feel a bit better when the wariness creeps back onto his face.

"Hey, kid." the titan in your custody speaks up, his voice remarkably steady for someone in his situation. "Is it all worth it? Everything you've done for a life sentence behind bars."

You dig your blade into the back of his neck, your other arm tightening around his front. "You tell me. You're the monster here. How did it feel killing all those innocent people? Was that worth it?"

Confusion radiates off the titan in waves and you fix your eyes on the line of red on the back of his neck, liquid rubies leaking down into his shirt. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't kill anyone."

He's a titan. Of course he did. It was in their nature to kill and devour even if they didn't have the need for it. Even animals only hunted for survival; titans regurgitated what was left of their victims, undigested and in bits and pieces. They hunted for the _fun_ of it, feeding off the fear of humanity as much as their bodies. It made you sick.

You consider pushing your steel of your blade into his neck, ten centimetres in and a slash across was all that was needed for him to drop dead in your hold. But you resist the urge. It wouldn't do for your hostage to die before you got away. You needed to survive on to kill more of their kind.

"Shut up. I know all about you and the other titans even if everyone else doesn't. And I'm going to kill every single one of you."

The titan thrashes again in your hold, his movements becoming increasingly agitated as he tries to get away from you. You simply push the blade deeper into his neck and he freezes up once again. Seven centimetres to go.

The sound of screeching tyres and the smell of burnt rubber enters the alleyway where all of you are holed up in and you bristle. Time's up. But when you meet Armin's eyes again, they are clear and calm despite the checkmate that the both of you are being presented with. There is something he knows that you don't and that happens so often that you don't even mind anymore. As long as he gets the both of you out of this situation and back to Mikasa, you are completely fine with not knowing what goes on inside of the head of Armin Arlelt.

Armin is saying something and his voice doesn't quite leave his throat. Instead, you squint to make out the words that he is so carefully pronouncing for you to read and feel the thrill of hope run up your spine.

"She's here." Armin says and you know exactly who he is talking about.

The policemen are looking at the back, the reassuring sight of a police car entering their field of vision before they realise with a sort of delayed horror that it is not stopping. They barely have enough time to scatter out of its path before it ploughs on through their numbers, sideswiping a policeman that doesn't quite clear out of its way. Bullets fly through the air again, shattering the windshield and leaving holes all over the doors but still Mikasa doesn't stop until she has the car haphazardly parked between Armin and you.

Armin discards his hostage immediately, the prone body of the policeman hitting the ground with a painful thud as Armin scrambles for the door. You, on the other hand, have to slit the nape of your hostage – ten centimetres in – before darting for the door that Armin had opened for you. As Mikasa rams down hard on the accelerator, you barely have the pleasure of seeing the titan fall facedown into the dirt, blood flowing freely from the gash at the back of his neck.

The tables have turned and this time it is the policemen who are at a disadvantage as Mikasa makes a U-turn, speeding straight at the policemen who have grouped together again. It's almost comical, the way they stumble out of the way again, letting loose their bullets in a fit of desperation.

But then, one bullet manages to get through, going straight through the window on Armin's side and straight into the back of his head. He's facing you and you see the emotions that flicker through his face like a slideshow, going from relief to shock in less than a second. He falls forward into your lap and with the back of his head exposed, you can see the blood clotting his hair, the red a stark contrast against the pale gold of his hair.

Your brain cannot process this, refuses to process this, as you bury your hands into his hair on either side of his face and pull him back up. His eyes are shut and his chest doesn't rise and fall with the breath of the living and a frantic prayer spills from your lips in the form of a garbled curse.

"Mikasa!" you scream. "Mikasa, Armin's been shot!"

There is no reply from the driver's seat and you crane your neck to look at Mikasa, taking Armin with you as you struggle to lean forward.

"Mikasa," you try again, a hysterical edge entering your voice. "Armin's been shot. He's not breathing."

Silence answers you, pressing down on you and hollowing out your ears. The only thing that makes a sound is the car, thrumming under everyone's weight and so distant to you.

"Eren." you finally hear and you can't help the lopsided smile that appears on your face as Mikasa's voice travels to the back of the car.

The car makes a turn into side road wedged between two tall blocks and starts to slow down. Eventually, it comes to a complete halt and Mikasa still hasn't said another word past your name.

"Mikasa, why did you stop? Armin's bleeding and we need to get him to the hospital—" Agitated, you reach out a hand to give her shoulder a shake. It comes away stained red and you look at it blankly as in the driver's seat, Mikasa slides off to collapse across the passenger seat. Her eyes are open but unseeing, her entire shirt dyed red and her chest under it as still as Armin's is.

"Mikasa?" you say and it is the only sound in the car. In the distance, the police sirens have started up again, a cacophony of vengeance out to find you. "Armin?"

With Armin cradled in one arm, you lean forward into the passenger seat and brace an arm against its leather surface, your face barely inches away from the girl that you have come to know and love as part of your family. The light in her eyes is gone and her last word echoes in your head, getting increasingly louder as it ricochets through the confines of your mind. God knows how many times you've heard her say your name in reprimand or in affection. Now you'll never hear it again.

Pressure builds up behind your eyes and you can't stop the flow of tears that escape through your eyes, falling onto the still face under you. The sirens blare insistently and you drop back into the back seat, fingers laced through Mikasa's limp ones and Armin's weight against your side.

It was all your fault. If you hadn’t met them six years ago in that cold, clinical facility of a prison and explained to them what the meaning of their memories were, they would still be alive. You were the one had who killed them. Your hands might as well have been behind the trigger of the guns that had fired the killing shots. It was in your nature to kill after all.

Your mind rebels against you, addled with grief as it tells you that no, it was all the fault of the titans. If they didn't exist, Mikasa and Armin wouldn’t have needed to go after them. Mikasa and Armin would have survived, sitting with you right here in the car as the three of you made your getaway.

You have to kill every last one of them before they take away any more of the people that you love. (Even if the only ones that you love are now gone.) It is your duty as the bearer of these memories, the forgotten past that nobody understands any more. Only you know about the titans and only you have the capacity to kill them.

You are Eren Yeager, a proud member of the Scouting Legion and the sole survivor of the world of two thousand years ago. You were born to hunt the monsters that threaten humanity, even if you were one yourself. You will not fall to something as trivial as the ignorance of this time and when they finally close in on the car that Mikasa and Armin have been laid to rest in, they will find you gone.

The next morning they will find more bodies in the sea, ripped to pieces with hands that are full of grief and anger, the only thing they have in common a single jagged slash across the back of their necks, exactly ten centimetres deep.

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting here. Please be kind to me, everyone.


End file.
